Category Archives: food

places I have personally looked for the banana

Under the beds.
In the closets.
In the laundry hampers.
In the washer and dryer.
Inside the rolls of new toilet paper.
Between the mattress and the bed.
In all the drawers at or below toddler level.
In all the cupboard at or below toddler level.
In the central vac line.
In all the garbages.
In the toilets.
Behind all the doors.
Behind the paintings and mirrors leaning against the wall behind the door.
In the drawers of the storage caddy in the one closet.
In the hope chest.
In the shower stall.
In the bathtub.
Beside the washer and dryer.
Under and on top of any pile in the hallway or any room.

Where the HELL is this banana???


Banana, wherefore art thou?

About 36 hours ago, I was getting the kids ready for a bath. For reasons I won’t get into here, there was a half-peeled, half-eaten banana in my ensuite bathroom. Our toddler, Carter, found it and showed me what he found. In what I now recognize as a momentary lapse in judgement, I told him, “Take it to Mommy!”, and he dilligently toddled off.

Only a couple of minutes later did I realize that I had just unleashed a toddler with a banana on the house, and went to check his progress on his mission. I found him on the same level of the house, but without the banana. Uh oh.

While I bathed the boys Isabelle took it on herself to launch a comprehensive search for the AWOL banana. She spent at least 20 minutes searching everywhere – drawers, hampers, under beds, in closets, garbage pails – all to no avail. The search was expanded to the attic and the main floor, but everyone came up empty.

Last night Jannette and I formed another search party and again scoured the second floor. Cupboards, toilets, washer and dryer, piles of clothes and toys, everything was checked. Nothing. The banana has joined Jimmy Hoffa.

So, thanks to my brain fade, we’ve got a fruit bomb somewhere in the house, unless Carter somehow flushed it down a toilet without anyone noticing. I think it’s still around somewhere. I can only hope that it dessicates before it becomes a fruit fly buffet/orgy.

I’m scared!

resolution ’08

For the past many years I’ve been making New Year’s resolutions about food. It all started with deciding not to eat French fries anymore in 2001. That worked, so next year it was doughnuts. Then fried chips, then pop, and then chocolate bars. (I seem to be missing a year, or a food item I swore off. Hmmm, I’ll have to consult Jannette – with the better memory – on that one.) Unfortunately, come Hallowe’en I forgot about that, fell off the wagon, and had to renew my resolution not to each chocolate bars again in 2007. Well, this year it stuck, so now I’m resolving to cut out another recreational food that I don’t need.

This year, I’m widening the scope, and will not be eating… (drum roll please)… vending machine food.
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my temp job processing eggs

I had meant to chronicle my latest temp job that I took – over a year ago – while looking for real work. I don’t recall whether I held the job for not even a full week or for just under two weeks, but it was long enough to fully understand the kind of work I do not want to do for a living.

The company I was placed at is an egg processing facility, just about 20 minutes North of where I live. There are no hens there. Just equipment, and lots and lots and lots of eggs. I got to work in two different areas of the plant, and got to see pretty much the whole operation. And boy, it was eye-opening.
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there’s no delicate way to put this

Over the course of the past 6 months or so, I’ve used more gum than I have in the past 6 years probably. The reasons are sane enough; I wanted something to freshen my breath before interviews, and chewing gum helps me stay alert on night drives when the rest of my family has zonked out. As a result of going through so much gum (in a very relative sense) I’ve had the opportunity to sample a fair number of different flavours. In general, no big surprises there. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that one certain flavour of gum, from two separate brands, no less, has the exact same regretable aftertaste.

There is really no nice way to say this… The mixed berry flavours of Trident and Dentyne both taste like…
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a smattering of me

Once again I feel like I’ve been neglecting my blog, but it’s not for want of anything to blog about. So for the half-dozen of you following along at home, here’s what’s been going on of late:
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a year’s worth of dry and frozen goods

Oh. My. God. What HAVE we done?

The other night we got a call about a shop-at-home service for groceries and meats. We were curious enough to have the meeting, and long story short we did it. We picked what we wanted, and tonight got the first delivery.

To explain a bit, this is supposed to be 10 month’s worth of dry goods, plus half of all of our frozen meats for the same period. (We’ll get another shipment of frozen meats later.) That came to 20 boxes delivered to our door, about 6 of which were frozen goods. Yes, 6 boxes full.

As you can imagine, our freezer is FULL. And I mean “I have no clue what’s on the bottom or how I’m going to get to it” full. And I still have a dozen boxes in my living room full of cans and bottles and boxes and such. Where will they go? Good question.

Right now, I’m not all that thrilled with our decision to do this. Is it a good move financially? Yes… it’s a good deal. But factor in the fact that your selections are somewhat limited as compared to a grocery store (especially if you have any kind of diet that deviates from the mainstream), and the fact that you have to store 10 months’ worth of dry goods and 5 months’ worth frozen goods within days of you signing up, and you can see why the panic, sweat, and frustration came to play.

Will we do this again? Only time will tell. Meanwhile, I’ve got some sorting to do.